Monday, October 24, 2005 - 24 and 25 october :
thanks to all my friends fer givin me the moral support..
to name them... they are...
nutty pear..
efah..
elfeiz..
syazfeera..
hafiz..
thank u guys..love u all..
yeah..i've gotta problem..
i cant afford to even blog about it..
but..never mind..i'll just tell..
cos there's a need fer me to let out my feelings..
as u all knoe..
muhammad nizam..
is my dearest boyfriend..
but today..
something had happened between me and nizam.
i dowanna say that we've broken up.
cos i just cant accept that fact if he really assumes it that way.
i do still love him.
yeaterday..afte he's back from werk..
he told me his home phone bill has gone up to 200+..
i was o shocked why it can reach till that high..
so..after that i smsed him to gimme a missed call when he finish showerin..
but after that..he said, his sister wants his handphone.so .. dun call him..
ok..
then today..
i was in skool fer the preparation fer engineering week..
he called.. he said he want his fon back..
ya..
ok..
then sent his fon back..
AH!!!
-STOP!!-
this post was safe as draft..cos i cant afford to write much just now..
k..now..let me tell u wat happened after everything had happened just now.
i mean.. after 12..malas ah nak ceritekan ape yang jadi semlam.
k..
nina cried and cried all the way for 4 hours..
my parents cant get to cos they were too werried bout me..
they keep coming out from mtheir room..talk to me for a little while..then go in back..
and they keep repeating the same thing..
come in..go out..
come in..go out..
my father gave me advices and all..
i appreciate it man..
then suddenly..after about 3 hours of crying non-stop,
nina suddenlt have breathing difficulties..
at that moment..nina aru je on my lappy to continue bout the story..
after that my hand became so numb i cant feel anything..
my mum was there on my bed..
accompanying me..
i was still crying..
i told my mum nina nyer tangan tak rase..
then i was like unconcious after that..
my dad came in to my room..
dorang picit2kan tngan..letak mintyyak...mcm kecoh ah..
my mum cried..
she told me..
"mak ngan ayah sayang kau tau..ayah besok nak keje kau buat gini..
mak lahirkan kau sempurna..takde cacat-celah..jangan pasal lelaki kau jadi gini tau nina.."
aiyo..my heart tol2 rase bersalah sei..
i was still crying though..
nina tol2 tak dapat bayangkan sei how was i that tyme..
imagine ah..baring pun my dad kene angkat n
letakkan my head on tha pillow..
ish..
nina rabaq..
samapai sahur ah my hand was still keras..then it was very cold..thats wat mum told me..
then..sahur.i called nizam..he never pick up his hp..
i call his house..
he was sahur-ing..
so i told him nanti kol i aleq k.
that tyme i was really sick..
bebual pun dah mcm tak bermaye..
mcm orang dah nak mati..
den my mum took the fon when he called..
she talked to him..
this and that..
den she passed me tha fon..
i tolked to him.
he told me everything..
he told me why he suddenly have someone new in his life..
NADIA.
here's how the story goes..
mcm pantat ah..malas sei nak type..
k, aniwae..
he knoe this girl when he start werking as the cupon derme nyer penjual..
nad pun keje situ..
then first time when he saw her, he told himself..
"wow! cute sei budak nie"
sekali kebetulan si nad bengol nie pun suke dier..
he told me nad suke de before he even start werking there..
like what the fart..jangan merepek ah setan..
then,..they got close with each other..ade satu budak name azimah nie pun suke dier..
like taik babi ah..
but nizam suke nadia instead of azimah..
merepek ah..abeh aku nie kau letak pat mane sal..
then almost everyday they went to work together..
nizam even told me he was happy to go work with nad..
makkau ..sape tak sakit hati sak kene rabaq gini..
then azimah pun tak puas hati,..
ala...cam kecoh ah cerite dorang..
pompan2 perampas sialan..
mati tak nak.
serupe mcm BABI doll ah korg..
then at last nizam and nadia got together,..
i think baru tadi ah..cos in hios sent items..(which is in my handphone like i told yall earlier..)
it says..
"i tgh otw lah nie. janagn takut..its a good news..YES."
"abeh u tak pecaye??"
"betol ah..takkan main2!"
ah..kalau dah gitu..sumer orang mesti dah tau kna ape maksud de gitu.
mesti baru get together tadi nyer...i mean..on tha 24..
nizam kate he left me becos de tak b;leh thana...
not because he cannot stand me..
but the ppl who asik kacau2 him..what the fark!
last sunday..ade this group of guys tibe2 approach de tyme de tgh keje..
he brought him to one place..
and they told him..
"kau jangan kacau amalina.."
ish,..sape sak budak2 merepek tu sume..
sial ah korang..
pasal korang aku yang sengsare..
korang kalau tak suke de nagn aku..cakap nagn aku sendiri ah bodoh..
kau tak yah marah orang yang bersalha..
nizam kesian tau..
dari dulu de asiok kene mcm gini je..
and it's all becos of me..
k aniwae..back to tha story bout si nad bengol tu..
noe wat..nizam told me that last saturday..
nad bengol tu pimpin tangan de cos pamai sanagt orang!
sial nyer pompan..puki dah gatal pe sak.
suke2 pe pimpian tangan matair orang.
then nizam nyer bongok..tu lagi satu tu..
he told me wat u knoe..
he told me nad nyer tangan lagi lembut dari tangan u..
gosh..siak ah..ape sak cakarp nie satu..
then nina biarkan je ha..
pecaye de nyer pasal ape..
haiz...nina nina..bodoh lah..
then yang after we tok on the fon yang ti,me sahur tu..
kitorang pun dah ah..
nampak sanagt dah takdepape..
de pun kate pe dornag fall in love same2..
kaoz..ape cakarp sak fall in love fall in love..
asal cam budak kecik..
common..
korang baru kenal..
tak mungkin akan berkekalan higga ke syurga..
k..and u all knoe wart..
banayk plak nina nyer u all noe wart eh..
HEhehE!
he told me de actually dah marah ngan nina sice yang jharitu time nina jerit pat bawah blok..
ye arh..mesti ah nina jerit..
de nak tolak nina masok dalam lift sei...
ish..
korang jangan fikey bukan2 k..
nina tak suke naik lif..
cos rumah nina tingkat 2!!!
janagn nak merepek ah nak naik lift..
actually ade reasons jugak ah asal ninaa tak nka naik lift..
nina respect bulan puase..
u knoe ah kalau dah dalam lift tu kan dah oni two of us..kan susah..
Hahah!
i mena..
nina ukannye suke lah bende2 merepek tu..
nina tahu batas2nye..
jangan memperbodoh2kan nia kalau pasla perkare gitu.
nina tak suke.
dalam bende lain nina tak lokek..
but if it concerns maruah diri..
nina very lokek.
yes i am.
and lagipun like ive told earlier..
its bulan ramadhan..
hmm..
dah ah..
nak bingit pasal tu...de lagi bleh tumbuk nina sampai blue-black..
siak ah..ape mnie..
tapi tat tyme i thought it was a joke..
pikey de tumbuk main2..
seklai de kate de mmg tgh bingit that tyme..
mak..
darah burst sei dgr.s
so mean kire like abuse ah nie..
ape nie!!
k lah..watever it is..
he's with nadia now..
how could he do this to me..
i was cheated..
de selalu kakte i haraop u tak main2 kan i ah..
cos de dah kene bastard nagn pompan dah quite a few tyms..
say 2 lah eh..
hmm..
ya aniwae..he dun like my style..
i knoe..
i mean..the wya i dress up..
i told efah and efah say he cant accept that ur too trendy?
haha!
trendy ke?
HEhE!
k ah fine..
tell yall honestly..
i dun usually just wear a simple t'shirt and jeans..
i kinda feel weird and uncomfortable wearing taht way..
i dunno why..
i must have i must have at least have 3 colours on my body before i step out of tha house..
life must be colourful wart...
sangat!!
HEhEH!
k lah,,bout that nadia bengol again..we sms..
HahHAh!
i told her
"take care of nizam well..
cos nina still love him.."
and she replied..
"i tau.if u were to treat him better he wouldn't have done this."
makkau ..perepuan nie like faham like understand oni ah..
hHAha!
kak caca! tolong kutuk kan de sikt!
hahha!
caca kalau kais mesti rabaq to the core nyer..
HahahHA!
mulut like pisau baru asah.
HEhEHHE!
sorry kak~!
and sape2 kalau nak kutuk mengutuk..maki memaki ..janagn segan..
hahEHEH!
PeepZ!!!
she just messaged me!!
she said:
i did told him to thinkcarefully b4 he decides who to be wif and he choze me..den wat am i supoz to do..
and nioe wat i replied to this stupid beaTTch?! :
heks.wateva u say. up to both of u..dowanna say aniting animore..nina not here to figh over him. its ok. i've been with him for almost 8 months. i noe him too well! he's easily influenced by wart ppl say... and next tyme, pls, dun fall for sumone else's guy.its painful.try to put urself in my shoe.
AhhHHA! kecoh,..klau tol2 masok dalam kasot bau stokin sak!
hHahHA! kalau nak palinh werse pun bau kaki aku ah..HEhHEHE!
She replied.:
i didn't fall in love with him..de yang blang i u buat perangai..
and i replied!!! (ceh..nina takmo kalah..! perangai!) :
didn't fall in love with him.?! he told me u like him since b4 he joined ur group.and kalau nina buat perangai, tats between me and him. why must u come into tha picture?
she replied:
i'm not trying to get involve but thats the reason he gave me.takpelah.bith of u still young. i mengalah.
ish..ape nine budak nie menagalah pulak..ornag nnka kasi tension de ketat2 kasi putus rabaq..ceh konon2 main nagn rubber band ah..
HhEHHE! k DAh merepek.
k lah..apape lah nizam..
aniwae.. the nadia just told me that she's one year younger than nizam.meaning..one year younger than mi!
18..
what the fark..
ambik lelaki lagi younger than her wart ape..
lelaki mature kan ade sikit lagging.
gasak korang ah.
janji korang bahagia di samping korang sendiri..
aniwae..apologised o kak ezan just now..
really felt bad..
dunno lah..
kesian..
kesian nina..
ceh..self-pity nampak..
HHEHEH!
nitapi memang betol ah...
bulan ramadhan nie de buat nina gini..
ape sei..
takpe..my mum say..biarkan orang buat kite..janagnkite buat orang..
lagi2 dalam buloan puase noie lagi mesti ade hikmah nye kalau de buat kau gini..
aniwae..miss my arwah nenek..
keep dremaing of her..
last two days in my dream..she left me..
i noe..memang lah de dah tinggalkan nia pun..tapi entah lah..kenpe nina ditinggalkan lagi dalam mimpi tu..
i really miss her..
heart so broken,
heart so pain.
nina.
to name them... they are...
nutty pear..
efah..
elfeiz..
syazfeera..
hafiz..
thank u guys..love u all..
yeah..i've gotta problem..
i cant afford to even blog about it..
but..never mind..i'll just tell..
cos there's a need fer me to let out my feelings..
as u all knoe..
muhammad nizam..
is my dearest boyfriend..
but today..
something had happened between me and nizam.
i dowanna say that we've broken up.
cos i just cant accept that fact if he really assumes it that way.
i do still love him.
yeaterday..afte he's back from werk..
he told me his home phone bill has gone up to 200+..
i was o shocked why it can reach till that high..
so..after that i smsed him to gimme a missed call when he finish showerin..
but after that..he said, his sister wants his handphone.so .. dun call him..
ok..
then today..
i was in skool fer the preparation fer engineering week..
he called.. he said he want his fon back..
ya..
ok..
then sent his fon back..
AH!!!
-STOP!!-
this post was safe as draft..cos i cant afford to write much just now..
k..now..let me tell u wat happened after everything had happened just now.
i mean.. after 12..malas ah nak ceritekan ape yang jadi semlam.
k..
nina cried and cried all the way for 4 hours..
my parents cant get to cos they were too werried bout me..
they keep coming out from mtheir room..talk to me for a little while..then go in back..
and they keep repeating the same thing..
come in..go out..
come in..go out..
my father gave me advices and all..
i appreciate it man..
then suddenly..after about 3 hours of crying non-stop,
nina suddenlt have breathing difficulties..
at that moment..nina aru je on my lappy to continue bout the story..
after that my hand became so numb i cant feel anything..
my mum was there on my bed..
accompanying me..
i was still crying..
i told my mum nina nyer tangan tak rase..
then i was like unconcious after that..
my dad came in to my room..
dorang picit2kan tngan..letak mintyyak...mcm kecoh ah..
my mum cried..
she told me..
"mak ngan ayah sayang kau tau..ayah besok nak keje kau buat gini..
mak lahirkan kau sempurna..takde cacat-celah..jangan pasal lelaki kau jadi gini tau nina.."
aiyo..my heart tol2 rase bersalah sei..
i was still crying though..
nina tol2 tak dapat bayangkan sei how was i that tyme..
imagine ah..baring pun my dad kene angkat n
letakkan my head on tha pillow..
ish..
nina rabaq..
samapai sahur ah my hand was still keras..then it was very cold..thats wat mum told me..
then..sahur.i called nizam..he never pick up his hp..
i call his house..
he was sahur-ing..
so i told him nanti kol i aleq k.
that tyme i was really sick..
bebual pun dah mcm tak bermaye..
mcm orang dah nak mati..
den my mum took the fon when he called..
she talked to him..
this and that..
den she passed me tha fon..
i tolked to him.
he told me everything..
he told me why he suddenly have someone new in his life..
NADIA.
here's how the story goes..
mcm pantat ah..malas sei nak type..
k, aniwae..
he knoe this girl when he start werking as the cupon derme nyer penjual..
nad pun keje situ..
then first time when he saw her, he told himself..
"wow! cute sei budak nie"
sekali kebetulan si nad bengol nie pun suke dier..
he told me nad suke de before he even start werking there..
like what the fart..jangan merepek ah setan..
then,..they got close with each other..ade satu budak name azimah nie pun suke dier..
like taik babi ah..
but nizam suke nadia instead of azimah..
merepek ah..abeh aku nie kau letak pat mane sal..
then almost everyday they went to work together..
nizam even told me he was happy to go work with nad..
makkau ..sape tak sakit hati sak kene rabaq gini..
then azimah pun tak puas hati,..
ala...cam kecoh ah cerite dorang..
pompan2 perampas sialan..
mati tak nak.
serupe mcm BABI doll ah korg..
then at last nizam and nadia got together,..
i think baru tadi ah..cos in hios sent items..(which is in my handphone like i told yall earlier..)
it says..
"i tgh otw lah nie. janagn takut..its a good news..YES."
"abeh u tak pecaye??"
"betol ah..takkan main2!"
ah..kalau dah gitu..sumer orang mesti dah tau kna ape maksud de gitu.
mesti baru get together tadi nyer...i mean..on tha 24..
nizam kate he left me becos de tak b;leh thana...
not because he cannot stand me..
but the ppl who asik kacau2 him..what the fark!
last sunday..ade this group of guys tibe2 approach de tyme de tgh keje..
he brought him to one place..
and they told him..
"kau jangan kacau amalina.."
ish,..sape sak budak2 merepek tu sume..
sial ah korang..
pasal korang aku yang sengsare..
korang kalau tak suke de nagn aku..cakap nagn aku sendiri ah bodoh..
kau tak yah marah orang yang bersalha..
nizam kesian tau..
dari dulu de asiok kene mcm gini je..
and it's all becos of me..
k aniwae..back to tha story bout si nad bengol tu..
noe wat..nizam told me that last saturday..
nad bengol tu pimpin tangan de cos pamai sanagt orang!
sial nyer pompan..puki dah gatal pe sak.
suke2 pe pimpian tangan matair orang.
then nizam nyer bongok..tu lagi satu tu..
he told me wat u knoe..
he told me nad nyer tangan lagi lembut dari tangan u..
gosh..siak ah..ape sak cakarp nie satu..
then nina biarkan je ha..
pecaye de nyer pasal ape..
haiz...nina nina..bodoh lah..
then yang after we tok on the fon yang ti,me sahur tu..
kitorang pun dah ah..
nampak sanagt dah takdepape..
de pun kate pe dornag fall in love same2..
kaoz..ape cakarp sak fall in love fall in love..
asal cam budak kecik..
common..
korang baru kenal..
tak mungkin akan berkekalan higga ke syurga..
k..and u all knoe wart..
banayk plak nina nyer u all noe wart eh..
HEhehE!
he told me de actually dah marah ngan nina sice yang jharitu time nina jerit pat bawah blok..
ye arh..mesti ah nina jerit..
de nak tolak nina masok dalam lift sei...
ish..
korang jangan fikey bukan2 k..
nina tak suke naik lif..
cos rumah nina tingkat 2!!!
janagn nak merepek ah nak naik lift..
actually ade reasons jugak ah asal ninaa tak nka naik lift..
nina respect bulan puase..
u knoe ah kalau dah dalam lift tu kan dah oni two of us..kan susah..
Hahah!
i mena..
nina ukannye suke lah bende2 merepek tu..
nina tahu batas2nye..
jangan memperbodoh2kan nia kalau pasla perkare gitu.
nina tak suke.
dalam bende lain nina tak lokek..
but if it concerns maruah diri..
nina very lokek.
yes i am.
and lagipun like ive told earlier..
its bulan ramadhan..
hmm..
dah ah..
nak bingit pasal tu...de lagi bleh tumbuk nina sampai blue-black..
siak ah..ape mnie..
tapi tat tyme i thought it was a joke..
pikey de tumbuk main2..
seklai de kate de mmg tgh bingit that tyme..
mak..
darah burst sei dgr.s
so mean kire like abuse ah nie..
ape nie!!
k lah..watever it is..
he's with nadia now..
how could he do this to me..
i was cheated..
de selalu kakte i haraop u tak main2 kan i ah..
cos de dah kene bastard nagn pompan dah quite a few tyms..
say 2 lah eh..
hmm..
ya aniwae..he dun like my style..
i knoe..
i mean..the wya i dress up..
i told efah and efah say he cant accept that ur too trendy?
haha!
trendy ke?
HEhE!
k ah fine..
tell yall honestly..
i dun usually just wear a simple t'shirt and jeans..
i kinda feel weird and uncomfortable wearing taht way..
i dunno why..
i must have i must have at least have 3 colours on my body before i step out of tha house..
life must be colourful wart...
sangat!!
HEhEH!
k lah,,bout that nadia bengol again..we sms..
HahHAh!
i told her
"take care of nizam well..
cos nina still love him.."
and she replied..
"i tau.if u were to treat him better he wouldn't have done this."
makkau ..perepuan nie like faham like understand oni ah..
hHAha!
kak caca! tolong kutuk kan de sikt!
hahha!
caca kalau kais mesti rabaq to the core nyer..
HahahHA!
mulut like pisau baru asah.
HEhEHHE!
sorry kak~!
and sape2 kalau nak kutuk mengutuk..maki memaki ..janagn segan..
hahEHEH!
PeepZ!!!
she just messaged me!!
she said:
i did told him to thinkcarefully b4 he decides who to be wif and he choze me..den wat am i supoz to do..
and nioe wat i replied to this stupid beaTTch?! :
heks.wateva u say. up to both of u..dowanna say aniting animore..nina not here to figh over him. its ok. i've been with him for almost 8 months. i noe him too well! he's easily influenced by wart ppl say... and next tyme, pls, dun fall for sumone else's guy.its painful.try to put urself in my shoe.
AhhHHA! kecoh,..klau tol2 masok dalam kasot bau stokin sak!
hHahHA! kalau nak palinh werse pun bau kaki aku ah..HEhHEHE!
She replied.:
i didn't fall in love with him..de yang blang i u buat perangai..
and i replied!!! (ceh..nina takmo kalah..! perangai!) :
didn't fall in love with him.?! he told me u like him since b4 he joined ur group.and kalau nina buat perangai, tats between me and him. why must u come into tha picture?
she replied:
i'm not trying to get involve but thats the reason he gave me.takpelah.bith of u still young. i mengalah.
ish..ape nine budak nie menagalah pulak..ornag nnka kasi tension de ketat2 kasi putus rabaq..ceh konon2 main nagn rubber band ah..
HhEHHE! k DAh merepek.
k lah..apape lah nizam..
aniwae.. the nadia just told me that she's one year younger than nizam.meaning..one year younger than mi!
18..
what the fark..
ambik lelaki lagi younger than her wart ape..
lelaki mature kan ade sikit lagging.
gasak korang ah.
janji korang bahagia di samping korang sendiri..
aniwae..apologised o kak ezan just now..
really felt bad..
dunno lah..
kesian..
kesian nina..
ceh..self-pity nampak..
HHEHEH!
nitapi memang betol ah...
bulan ramadhan nie de buat nina gini..
ape sei..
takpe..my mum say..biarkan orang buat kite..janagnkite buat orang..
lagi2 dalam buloan puase noie lagi mesti ade hikmah nye kalau de buat kau gini..
aniwae..miss my arwah nenek..
keep dremaing of her..
last two days in my dream..she left me..
i noe..memang lah de dah tinggalkan nia pun..tapi entah lah..kenpe nina ditinggalkan lagi dalam mimpi tu..
i really miss her..
heart so broken,
heart so pain.
nina.
lets say goodbye 11:44 PM
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